Mysterious Microwaves

Picture of microwave ovenI don’t like microwave ovens. It’s a hate-hate relationship. Therefore I have no advice for you on the subject.

Regardless of what magical tricks the manufacturer will claim their nuclear gadget can do, I would never use a microwave to cook something.

They do have some limited use, to defrost small frozen food items, or to melt butter (maybe). But even then, they regularly over-heat; burn and half cook the food.

With all the buttons, dials, beeps, bells and digital displays found on a microwave, I believe they only really have two settings – high biff and low biff!

Also, there is one issue that annoys me the most, no two microwaves are ever the same. I have never seen the same microwave in anyone else’s kitchen, like I have in mine.

I have worked in countless restaurants, and have never seen the same model of microwave. I once walked through a roadhouse kitchen, and they had a bank of 8 microwaves, all of which were different brands and models.

Think about it… have you ever seen an identical version of your microwave anywhere else on the planet?

Every time you’ve gone to use someone else’s microwave, you didn’t know how to use it, or know where the start button was located, or how to open the door – did you?

However, I have a theory that solves this baffling mystery. Microwave ovens are manufactured using an automated ‘random’ assembly machine. The parts are shuffled like a deck of cards and then blindfolded robots randomly assemble them, ensuring no two microwaves are ever identical.

There you have it, mystery solved!

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